Taye Nakamura-Koyama

Dear Taye,

One year later and I think I can finally get my shit together to write this without totally breaking down.
Ya know, you made my world a whole lot brighter. You were the one person on MBSEF for all those years our group couldn't wait to see, or to ski with. You were the one we always thought of, the one we still think of. You left a hole not only on your team, but on ours as well. You were the fight in me when everything went and got tough. You were who I thought of, my strength. I remember the race in the Methow 3 years ago.. the skate sprints were first and it was you and I battling out for that first spot in the B final. You were what pushed me to be my best. The next day.. We were out on the distance course, I was really lagging and heard you coming up behind me.. You always had some form of encouraging words to say.. Even when you had no breath to say it. We skied that race together, and you were there, the only one, when I crashed. You watched it happen, and you were the first to find me when it was over to see if I was okay. Little did we know in that moment that my neck was broken. If it weren't for you, I don't know that I would have gotten up to finish that race. 
Taye, you had more of an impact on me than you could ever know. Your spirit, your vibrance... Your soul, you're truly one in a million. never have I met someone who even holds a candle to who you are.
You may be away from us physically, but you forever live on within my heart. I see you in all things beautiful, in all things strong and brave, all things original and unique, you're a part of it all. You're a part of my world every moment that I breathe. You made this huge world, seem a whole lot smaller, but you made my world a whole lot bigger.
Yesterday marked one year from losing you. What's crazy is I was at your house hours before you left us.. I thought to myself "where's Taye? I would love to give her a hug"... Little did I know It would all be over in a matter of moments. I'll never forgive myself for that moment, for not acting.
However, yesterday I went for a long bike ride.. We all know how you love to bike. It was by far the most enjoyable bike ride I've ever been on, and I truly believe you were there to share it with me. I went round and round this gnarly mud hole and rode through 3 feet of water.. I chased ducks and raced a squirrel.. It all reminded me of you. I felt that you were there riding with me through it all. I couldn't have imagined spending June 12th any other way. As for today, today a year ago was when I received the news.. So today I went for another bike. I found a few really big hills. And to be honest, I pushed myself way harder up them than I should have, but that's the thing.. You had no boundaries.. The sky was your limit.. And I felt this rush.. A rush to just go.. to attack it, that's how you approached everything, I wish I had your courage.. Your guts. But I just rode and rode.. And looked to be sky... And thought of you. Everything I see, every peddle.. Every ski.. I think of you. Before every race.. Whether small, or at nationals this last season.. I thought to myself.. I am skiing for Taye. You were my backbone, and my strength when I had nothing left, no more gas to give, you were who I thought of and who I turned to for support. 
I love you, Taye. I really really do.  You're in my thoughts.. My heart.. And my world, and I thank you for all the wonderful moments, the laughs, the tears, the races, the camps and the adventures. 
Here's to a girl who left too soon for me, but soon enough for you, and you have my up most respect, love, support and gratitude. 
i am so blessed to have had the chance to be a part of your life.

Love you always and forever, beautiful girl,

Julia 

Dear Taye,
  I went to Jake Shimabukuro's concert at the Tower Theater tonight, his set on the ukelele reminded me of the summer, just you and I went to Hawaii  and I played Jake's CD's all the time, I think you got tired of them, but I think his music made us both happy. :)  He also played Sakura, and it brought tears to my eyes, I remember vividly how you and Kiki Japanese danced the "Sakura" with your cherry blossoms.  A few weeks before you left us, I remember you said, you wished you could still take Japanese Dance from Mrs. Morinishi, how I wish I could've made that happen for you.
 
 I loved that summer, when it was just me and you in Hawaii, I would take you in the morning and drop you off to surf.  You were so cool, but I know you didn't think of yourself as cool, because all the kids on the North Shore were surfing too.  But you were cool in your "too skimpy bikini" that we argued about, but truth be told, if anyone could pull off that bikini it was you.  I was just worried about all the boys staring at you...you were only 14 that summer. Some times after surfing, we'd go to into Haleiwa and got Acai Bowls at the coffee shop, we loved those!
  I loved that we found "Sunflower Cafe" in Chinatown in Honolulu and ate dim sum, even if we didn't know what was in the center...
  I remember us going to Kapioloani Park, and sitting under the big tree eating grinds we bought there, and listening to the slack key guitar festival in the bandstand.  What carefree days those were.  I miss you so much honey.  Before I sleep I think of you, as I sleep I dream of you, and upon the first rays of daylight you are on my mind.  How I miss you, even our arguments :)...I pray every night God will let me trade you places so you could be here with your dad, Weston and Kiki.  WE all miss you so much.  Life hasn't been the same without you.  Love,  Mom

For someone i only really talked to online, i think about you a lot. I remember hinting to you about coming to oahu for kawaii kon and you said youd ask your parents. Dunno if that convo ever happened, but ill be thinking about you a lot when im there in a couple weeks.
Weston said you liked soul eater a LOT, and death the kid's english voice actor is there again this year. I wish i'd known last year. I would have gotten you his autograph SO HARD. You told me how you wanted to get tickets to coimic con but couldnt. You would have loved kawaii kon. So many great people and events. id give anything to have done a team cosplay with you, especially because i heard you tried sewing and were pretty good at it. You were amazing at art in general so i bet you would have had the best cosplays.  Ahh and you woulda fit into our friend group so perfect, because we're all oddball nerds haha

I really miss your random texts. I got so excited when you messaged me; like ahh my family is actually interested in my existence xD 
im also upset that you guys always sent me holiday gifts/cards and i cant remember which ones were from you or not. Was it you who knitted me that white scarf? I dunno, but even those dinky pink and blue sandals now hold a higher value to me, whether you picked them out or not. They are actually very comfortable and practical tbh. I have to go rummaging for cards some day. 

Just gotta say, for things like those little texts or IMs, thank you.  

Taye was gorgeous and unique just like her works of art. When we first met in elementary school her artistic ability was greater than most achieve in a lifetime. She was able to take a blank sheet of paper and transform it into a realistic yet unique image of our world. We certainly didn’t become friends because artistic ability. I am not an artist but we did connect through other activities and shared experiences over the years.

We bonded while playing pretend in Mrs. Carroll's first grade class, we adventured together into medieval times, outer space and Biscayne National Park in Mrs. Price’s second grade storylines. We both got glasses within a week of each other in third grade and adjusted to our new accessories together. The last class we had together was Mrs. Schliek in fourth grade where we dissected salmon and went to the coast on a class trip.

I realize now Taye taught me the importance of listening at an early age. Others would loudly voice what they saw or thought but I was able to learn and understand Taye by listening to her and observing her, especially her art. Even though she wasn’t the most talkative she had great ideas and wonderings about the world around her. She was always honest and focused in all aspects of her life. Her honesty was inspiring to me.Her focus was especially evident in this years Pole Peddle Paddle. After the Nordic leg I was driving down the mountain to begin my running leg. Normally people have a lot of time during this transition but not me. We had been looking for Taye as we drove but still hadn’t seen her. All the way past the snow parks, we had given up and we were dialing Penny to see if there had been a problem when we finally saw her powering up one of the last hills.She was so far in front of our competition!  She was so focused in her ride that I nearly scared her off her bike when I screamed my atta girl out the window. Later we had a good laugh about it. I thank her for pushing me to try and have that much focus and honesty in my own life. I will miss her deeply and I hope she knows what an impact she had on me. I love you Taye.

Dear Taye,
   We're in Jackson Hole now, and miss, miss, miss you.  As we skied the pow', my thoughts were with you.  I remember you were such an amazing powder skier, so lithe and graceful as you danced upon the pillows of pow, I loved watching you come down the slope.  I always felt proud when watching you. 
    I remember when you were four years old and we were skiing down AV, and a JH ski patrol guy caught up with us, and asked how old you were, and where'd you learn to ski like that?   We told him you were four, and he was amazed that we lived in CT, and you could ski like that, he said, "My son was born here, and he's five and he doesn't ski nearly as well or as fast as you!"
   You were a natural on skis, and you used to tell the Ski Ranch instructors, not that you wanted to ski, but that you NEEDED to ski!  We all miss you so much Taye.   We backcountry xc skied yesterday in the shadow of the Grand Teton, and we missed you cutting trail for us and leading the way.  You'd go a mile ahead, and then turn around to bring up the rest of us, and then you'd ski back up.  It was back and forth for you, you probably doubled your mileage as you went back and forth.  I miss skiing with you honey.  We love you so much.  I imagine heaven has some heavenly ski trails up there, ski with us always.   Love,  Mom